After arriving barely on time and overcoming many obstacles, including really ignorant employees at Chicago's Tweeter Center, some bitch-from-hell Lollapalooza publicist, and an incredibly nosy escort (this interview entailed the most drama), us folks from the lab finally got to sit down with the coolest crazy-cat ever, Steve-O. Best known for MTV's "Jackass," Steve-O has quite the solo career with the "Don't Try This at Home" DVD collection and now his very own spot on the Lollapalooza line-up. When we caught up with the man he was chillin' backstage sipping a smoothie and complaining of a fucked-up back (due to some earlier skateboarding). He showed us his new evil tattoo, done the night before, and then we chatted awhile about LabProductions. Old Steve seemed to be in quite a bit of discomfort, so we got to it and the questions began: Are you okay to do this right now?
S-O: Yeah, I'm just stoned!
Happy birthday man, 29! Weren't you just in Africa
for the big day and save some couple's lives from a fire like the day after?
S-O: Thanks, yeah, that was funny. I actually have footage of the fire on the tour bus. Everyone thought it was a joke, but we helped some folks out.
What are you doing today exactly?
S-O: I do stunts that are not allowed on television.
So you are specifically doing what?
S-O: I am um, well, it's really just a lot of getting drunk and hurting myself. HA, HA!
Do you have some kind of entourage with you?
S-O: Yeah, yeah, I got my manager, Nick Dunlap, my cameraman, Mike Little, my butler…
Your butler?
S-O: Yeah, his name's Corolla.
Who else?
S-O: I have my girlfriend with me, and Ryan Simonetti doing some skateboarding stunts with me.
Have you been skating lately? Isn't that how you got into this?
S-O: Yeah, I've been skating heavily, that's why my back's so fucked up right now. But I want to do more skating, and with the way we've been filming, maybe turn pro and start selling Steve-O boards.
Steve-O Boards, huh? I don't know if I would buy one… might crash and burn on one of those.
S-O: Oh no, see, my boards are really for kids with more potential than ability. It's a board that's okay to fall off of. You know, just because you didn't land it doesn't mean it wasn't a stunt.
So with your whole clown career there is a bit of confusion, were you actually a clown?
S-O: Yes, yes - I was a clown. Worked in the circus.
Were you like the "make-up-rubber nose-big shoes" kind of clown or like a stunt clown?
S-O: No, I was actually a circus clown - I went to the Ringley Brothers Barnum and Bailey Clown College. Graduated in their last class.
But you weren't actually a clown for them, right?
S-O: No, I worked for some shady little shitty circus.
Did you ever get shot out of a cannon or anything really crazy?
S-O: Nah, never that, apparently I would be really good at it. It's really more of an honor to be delegated. There's not much to it.
Steve OWe pause to take a few pictures of all the famous tattoos. -And talk a little less formally (all under the watch of the aforementioned escort). The amount of tattoos is nearly equaled by that of scars and bruises. This dude is tough! I asked how many tats he actually had and he said there is no telling because he has them all over and many have been added to over time. My personal fave is the one of himself on his back. An extremely loud smoothie machine then interrupted us. These guys know how to travel in style. Anything you could want was back there behind the scenes. Smoothies, beer, other types of mind-altering substances…
Back to the questions.
So I'm sure you get asked this a lot, but with all the stapling and self-afflicted pain, is this all just to get a rise out of people, or is this some sort of a sexual, fetish thing?
S-O: I don't know if it's really to get a rise out of people, more to get people to laugh. To get their mind off their shitty day.
I would say our day has certainly improved since we got here… especially since we left the press tent!
So what is the weirdest request you've ever had someone make?
S-O: Well, this guy's been following us around the Lollapalooza tour, and uh, begging to wrap himself in cling wrap after taking like fifteen ex-lax or something so he can shit himself.
On stage?
S-O: Yeah, he's been bothering us so much I might just let him do it.
So the whole point of you being on tour is to do crazy stuff that you can't do on TV, right?
S-O: Yeah well that, but I have my DVDs - the stage shows are just kinda different. The shit on stage, we've been doing it for awhile, like, you can watch the DVDs and just never get to see this stuff.
Do you really want to make out with a dead person?
S-O: No I don't want to make out with one…
Do you want to, say, hang out with one, like a "Weekend at Bernie's" type thing?
S-O: That whole dead body thing on my website has served its purpose… it got totally hyped up. Really I don't think it's an idea I'd really go through with.
There was another lull in the questioning, we did, however, find out his girlfriend will not be performing stunts, though. We finally got to the good stuff about the big Europe-jail fiasco. Some of the funniest stuff I've ever heard…
So what was it like sitting in jail? It was in Sweden, right? Weren't they like waiting for you to crap out a condom? What was that all about?
S-O: Yeah, well, see what I did was take a condom and stuff a bunch of marijuana and hash into it. Then I tied it in a knot and swallowed it so, like um, then I could shit it out, and then like dig through my crap, roll a joint, and hit the joint and say - "now that's good shit!"
It was just funny, so I filmed it as a skit, but when I swallowed the goddamn thing it got stuck in my throat. And I couldn't breathe, and I was just freaking out. I was puking up blood trying to get it down - it was just a nightmare. But I finally got it down, and then days went by and I was digging through my crap, and I wasn't finding anything! I was in Sweden, and when I'm on tour I do all these interviews, and interview after interview they are like, "how ya doing?" and I'm like, "man, I swallowed a condom full of marijuana dude, and it is not coming out… I think I'm gonna die of intestinal strangulation." So I wound up shitting it out, and I smoked all the pot with Preston Lacy and got totally high! Then, as we're leaving the hotel, all these plain-clothes police officers ambush us…
Because of your interviews?
S-O: Yeah because they read about it, yeah… and uh, I was like "I ain't got nothing man," but they found a pill of ecstasy in my bag, and they took me to a nearby hospital for an x-ray. The crazy thing is they actually revealed a foreign object in my body. They were sure it was the marijuana…but I have no idea what it was! I had already shit out the condom. So they held me for five days crapping in evidence bags and they x-rayed me again, and after five days the foreign object had only moved three centimeters. So they finally gave up on it and came up with some shady plea bargain. But anyway, apparently that was really illegal in Sweden.
Apparently… so when you did shit this thing out, are you the one who dug the condom out, or did you get someone else to do it?
S-O: Fuck yeah it was me! I ripped the condom open with my teeth I was so stoned.
After this conversation, we had to take a break and re-group. I was, personally, overcome by giggles… maybe it was something in the air…
So what were you doing in Africa? Were you filming a new series? With MTV as well?
S-O: Chris Pointius and I have a nature show coming out.
A nature show? Like "The Crocodile Hunter"?
S-O: Uh, yeah, it's kind of like "Jackass" meets "The Crocodile Hunter," but we interact with people a lot as well… it's really just a wild-life show.
As in wild people on the show?
S-O: Yeah - us! We got an order for ten episodes and it airs on October 19th. Should be pretty cool.
How did Jackass get started, was it just you and your friends?
S-O: Skateboarding videos. We were just skating all the time and we weren't really that good of skaters, so we just fucked around on camera.
Have you ever been like in the middle of a stunt or about to do a stunt and think, "oh shit, I may just not make it out of this one!"
S-O: Oh yeah…
What about that five-shot I.V.?
S-O: That one I figured since it's going straight into the blood stream, the result would be immediate and I could shut it off. Plus, I had the vodka mixed with saline. I had, uh, also hired a nurse who had recently been fired from the hospital, and even though she had no job to lose, she was really a registered nurse. I just told her that if I get groggy or if I start to pass out to just stop the drip. So I am laying there just thinking, "DO NOT PASS OUT, DO NOT PASS OUT." There wasn't ever one critical moment during that stunt, compared to something like jumping out of an airplane.
What stunt has hurt you the worst, and that you'll never do again?
S-O: Actually the stunt that's hurt me the worst I do all the time: just getting stoned and being on a second story balcony and just jumping off of it.
That hurt worse than stapling your nuts to your leg?
S-O: Well yeah, because I landed on my face on concrete and broke my skull.
Yeah, I guess that would be a little uncomfortable. So we know what hurts the worst, what about the grossest? On your DVD you act as a human urinal, which is one the sickest fucking things I have ever seen. Is there anything sicker?
S-O: Yeah, well that was pretty lowbrow. (He starts laughing and then we all laugh for a good minute).
So that is the grossest?
S-O: Well, drinking beer out of a man's hairy ass crack wasn't a high moment. But, my father was most bummed out with me when I actually ejaculated on camera.
What about your mother?
S-O: She's just kind of indifferent. She always used to make fun of me for not having a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, but now she's just not really congratulatory, but she doesn't care. She makes fun of me still. My parents are really supportive.
Are you making a pretty good living?
S-O: Oh, I do alright. Who knows how long it will last?
But you get to tour with rock stars…
S-O: I am a rock star!
So who's your favorite here at Lollapalooza?
S-O: I don't really get to watch anyone. Of course Jane's Addiction is rad, but I haven't really heard of everyone on tour with us.
Are you going to go out in Chi-town tonight, hit the city?
S-O: Well, we have a pretty big tour bus, so we'll probably just party in there.
Do you all travel together, or meet up when you reach your destination?
S-O: We have twelve beds on our tour bus, and two living rooms, so we just all stay together and hang out in there. I love Chicago, though. It would be cool to go out here. I've performed here before. Like on my video, when it was like thirty thousand people - it was here.
Is there anything you like to add before we get out of here?
S-O: Do you have a lighter?